An Early Childhood Educator's Screen Time Philosophy

Andrew: We’ll have guest posts from time to time. The first is from a friend with a master’s in educational technology who is my go-to source for parenting advice. Hope you enjoy!

Screens: Finding Our Family’s Balance

Our initial plan for screens with our first child was simple: minimal exposure until she turned two, and then mindful use afterward. I’d heard screen time compared to junk food—if completely restricted, kids might binge later. That idea resonated with me. However, finding the right balance has been stressful, especially with all the confusing research and strong opinions from different parenting communities. 

Having family a plane ride away, our children have always experienced video chats as a regular part of their lives. We cherish this time together and see it not as screen time, but as valuable moments of connection with loved ones. I knew I wanted that time to be unlimited and flexible. 

Looking back, I can’t pinpoint exactly when we first allowed her to watch tv shows, but I think it started when I was pregnant with our second child and feeling exhausted. We began with episodes of Doc McStuffins (Disney+), gradually introducing screens.

Adjusting to a Second Child

When our second child was born, we started having movie nights as a special time for our eldest. On Saturday nights, we’d watch Secrets of the Zoo (Disney+) for about an hour, fast-forwarding through any scary parts. This sparked her interest in animals and led to some wonderful conversations. Eventually, we allowed her to choose two shows for our hour-long “movie night,” but as she neared her fourth birthday, we hit a rough patch.

With a new baby in the house, we relied on a daily show to have a break or keep her occupied while we prepared dinner. One show quickly turned into two, and the negotiating of “one more show” began. Without a clear structure, things spiraled into tantrums and whining. If we denied her another Bluey (Disney+), she’d throw a fit, thrashing on the couch. After a few difficult instances of escalated behavior, we set a clear limit: screen time only on Tuesdays and Thursdays and only one show at a time.

Introducing Screen Time to Our Second Child

Even before our second child turned two, he began joining his sister for video chats with my mom (Gigi). I’ve never set strict time limits on this because their interactions are always engaging—relationship building, imaginative games and storytelling, which is especially meaningful since my mom lives far away. This time not only strengthens their bond but also enriches my daughter’s creativity and social skills.

A significant milestone for us was when our second child was old enough to join our movie nights. At first, he wiggled through most of them, but the first time we watched Cars, he was completely captivated. Since then, Cars (Disney+)  and all its associated shorts have become regular favorites in our house.

Managing Tantrums and Screen Time Expectations

For a while, our second child wasn’t too interested in screens, and we didn’t push it. But now, at 3.5 years old, he’s started having tantrums when screen time ends. We still try to keep movie night to Saturday evenings, usually an hour-long session with Gabby’s Dollhouse (Disney+) and a few Bluey (Disney+) episodes. Some of our other favorites are Daniel Tiger (PBS); Rosie’s Rules (PBS); and Peppa Pig (Netfix). I’ve noticed that tantrums often stem from uncertainty around screen time, especially when it fluctuates based on our schedules—sometimes we need extra time to finish work or meals, other times we cut it short due to guilt. The more consistent the routine, the fewer tantrums we face.

Highlights and Challenges

One of my favorite screen moments happened during a video call with Gigi. She asked my daughter to draw a picture of "the kids"—a group of stuffed animals my mom has given personalities to. Watching her create such detailed, thoughtful representations was amazing. Moments like these remind me of the positive side of screens when used intentionally.

Of course, we’ve had our low points too—tantrums and the inevitable guilt. For now, we’ve set my daughter’s iPad usage to 50 minutes on Mondays and Wednesdays, with flexibility on weekends. She can text or FaceTime Gigi and us anytime, we’re her only contacts. I’ve mostly stepped back from managing the device now that we’ve set up parental controls—she doesn’t have access to web browsing, YouTube, or social media. We also know that on screen-allowed days, even with the guidance and rules, she has more challenging behavior until bedtime. 

Our second child has some of the same specific screen rules but because he doesn’t have unsupervised screen time some don’t apply to him, we’ll try to delay his screen use as long as possible. 

Reflecting on the Journey

Throughout this process, I’ve found helpful resources through blogs and Common Sense Media for movie recommendations, especially since my kids are quite sensitive to loud noises and intense expressions. As we continue navigating screen time's complexities, I hope to foster a healthy relationship with screens while preparing them for a world where technology is everywhere.

Helpful Resources & Blogs I read

• https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ 

• https://www.commonsensemedia.org/family-tech-planners 

• https://www.danielle-moss.com/the-best-apps-for-toddlers-and-little-kids/ 

• https://www.producthunt.com/products/pok-pok-playroom/alternatives 

Our Screentime Rules

For Parents:

• No screens during meals.

• Minimal screen use around kids.

• Share and discuss shared screen experiences (sports, clips, games, research).

• Revisit rules as needed.

For 1st Grader:

• 50-minute limit for pre-approved games/apps.

• Designated iPad time on Mon & Wed.

• Unlimited Facetime with grandparents (as available).

• iPad use in common areas with an open door.

• 1 hour of family TV on Saturday nights ("Movie Night").

For 3-Year-Old: 

• Unlimited Facetime with grandparents (as available).

• iPad use in common areas with an open door.

• 1 hour of family TV on Saturday nights ("Movie Night").